Today at lunch, Delta and his friends were talking about colleges and scholarships, and where they want to go, and where they will probably end up. Which stresses me out for multiple reasons.
1. I’m in the same boat as a lot of them. My college decision will be based off who gives me the most scholarships. I’d kill to go to Gonzaga, but I don’t know if it’ll be worth the money if I don’t get the scholarships I need.
2. They’re leaving. I don’t want them to leave. I don’t want Delta to leave, I don’t want his brother to leave, I don’t want their other twin friends to leave, or any of the senior class. They’ve been at the school the whole time I’ve been there, and when they leave, that means one more year before I leave too. And I want to leave, so so badly, but at the same time, I don’t. I had the same issues leaving 8th grade, and that turned out way better than expected, but still.
I don’t know what’s going to happen when Delta leaves. I asked him about it the other day, and he replied, “Oh, well I figured we were solid enough.” So, while I’ve been fretting and worrying about it, he just is so confident in us that he didn’t even think about it. Typical of him.
I just don’t want things to change.